Abubakanye benshi bagira ingorane zikomeye igihe abana babo bageze mu bigero maze bakaja kuba ahandi. Ivyo birashobora gutuma basigara bumva umengo ntibazinanye. Umuhinga mu vy’imiryango yitwa M. Gary Neuman yanditse ati: “Ndakunda guhanura abantu benshi batazi ingene bosubira gucudika n’abo bubakanye. Kubera ko abana babo bose baba batakiba muhira, ntibaronka ivyo bayaga canke baryohererwa bari kumwe.” *

Umubano wanyu woba ugomba gusa n’uwabo bantu tuvuze? Nimba ari ko biri ntiwihebure. Imbere y’uko turaba ico wokora, raba ibintu bishobora kuba bituma mutaciyumvanamwo nka kera.

Mwamaze imyaka mwitaho cane abana. Abavyeyi benshi usanga bitaho abana babo kuruta uko bitaho umubano wabo, bakabigira barondera ineza y’abana. Ivyo bituma baca bitwararika cane ibanga ry’ubuvyeyi ku buryo bataba bacitwararikana hagati yabo. Ukwo kutitwararikana guca kuboneka canecane igihe abana batakiri kumwe na bo. Umugore umwe w’imyaka 59 yavuze ati: “Tukiri kumwe n’abana, vyarapfuma kuko twakorera ibintu hamwe.” Ariko aho abana bamariye kugenda, “umwe wese yari asigaye akora ivyiwe.” Harageze n’aho abwira umugabo wiwe ati: “Ndabona tutagishoboye kubana mu mahoro.”

Abavyeyi bamwebamwe ntibaba biteguriye iryo hinduka. Igitabu kimwe kivuga giti: “Abubakanye benshi basigara bumva umengo ni ho bagitangura kubana.” Kubera ko baba babona umengo nta vyinshi bahuriyeko, umwe wese aca aja mu vyiwe bagasigara bameze nk’abantu baba mu nzu imwe mugabo batubakanye.

Ariko rema, murashobora kwirinda izo ngorane mukanaryohererwa ubuzima bwanyu bushasha. Reka turabe ingene Bibiliya yobafasha.

Nimwemere iryo hinduka. Ku bijanye n’abana bageze mu bigero, Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umugabo azosiga se na nyina.” (Itanguriro 2:24) Bwa bavyeyi, mwari mufise intumbero yo guha abana banyu indero izobafasha bageze mu bigero. Dufatiye kuri ico, twovuga rero ko kuba abana banyu baragiye ari ikintu mwokwishimira.​—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Mariko 10:7.

Mu bisanzwe uzokwama uri umuvyeyi ku bana bawe. Ariko rero ubu si we ubafatira ingingo, uri umuhanuzi gusa. Iyo migenderanire mishasha ufitaniye n’abana iratuma ubandanya gushikirana na bo mugabo witaho canecane uwo mwubakanye. *​—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Matayo 19:6.

Nimuyage akababakiye. Bwira uwo mwubakanye ukuntu wiyumva kubera iryo hinduka, wongere umutege yompi igihe na we akubwira uko yiyumva. Numwihanganire kandi umutahure. Gusubira gukomeza ubucuti ufitaniye n’uwo mwubakanye bisaba igihe ariko birahambaye.​—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: 1 Abakorinto 13:4.

Rondera ibintu bishasha mwokorera hamwe. Nimuyage imigambi mwoshikako muri babiri canke ibintu bibanezera mwokorera hamwe. Kurera abana vyatumye mumenya utuntu n’utundi. Murashobora rero kubifashisha abandi.​—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Yobu 12:12.

Nimukomeze urukundo rwanyu. Nimwibuke ibintu vyatumye mushimana, mwibuke kandi amahirwe n’amagorwa mwaciyemwo. Hari aho ubwo buzima bwanyu bushasha bwoteba bukabaryohera. Mushize inguvu hamwe, murashobora gukomeza umubano wanyu n’urukundo rwatumye mwubakana.