When a Loved One Dies

On Tuesday evening, July 17, 2007, about seven o’clock, a passenger plane skidded off the runway at Brazil’s busiest airport, in the heart of São Paulo. The plane crossed a major road and crashed into a cargo depot. Some 200 people died in the accident.

WHAT has been described as Brazil’s worst airline disaster will remain indelibly etched in the memories of those who lost loved ones. Claudete was among those who experienced such a loss. She was watching TV when she heard the news about the plane crash. Her son, Renato, was on the plane. He was only 26. He had planned to get married in October. Desperately Claudete tried to contact him on his cell phone, but there was no reply. She collapsed on the floor and cried inconsolably.

Antje lost her fiancé in a tragic car accident in January 1986. When she heard the news, she went into a state of shock. “My initial reaction was one of disbelief. I felt that it was a bad dream and that I would suddenly wake up and find out that it was not true. I trembled and felt terrible pains as if someone had hit me in the stomach.” Antje suffered from depression for the next three years. Although more than 20 years have passed since the accident, she still trembles when she recalls what happened.

Mere words cannot convey the overwhelming feelings of shock, disbelief, numbness, and despair that can result from such tragic, unexpected losses. However, even when the death of a loved one is expected, as might be the case after his or her long illness, grief can still be very intense. No one is ever totally prepared for the death of a loved one. Nanci’s mother died in 2002 after a long illness. Yet, the day her mother died, Nanci sat on the hospital floor in a complete state of shock. Life seemed to have lost all meaning for her. Five years have gone by, but she still cries when she thinks of her mother.

“People never get over a loss, they just get used to it,” stated Dr. Holly G. Prigerson. If you have lost a loved one in death, unexpectedly or not, you may wonder: ‘Is it normal to grieve? How is it possible to cope with the loss of a loved one? Will I ever see my loved one again?’ The following article will discuss these and other questions you may have.

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