YOUNG PEOPLE ASK
Should We Break Up? (Part 1)
Sometimes a breakup is a blessing. Consider the experience of Jill. “At first,” she says, “I was flattered that my boyfriend was always worrying about where I was, what I was doing, and whom I was with. But it got to the point where I couldn’t spend time with anyone but him. He even got jealous when I spent time with my family—especially my father. When I ended the relationship with my boyfriend, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders!”
Sarah had a similar experience. She began to notice that John, the young man she was dating, was sarcastic, demanding, and rude. “One time,” Sarah recalls, “he came to the door three hours late! He ignored my mother when she answered the door, and then he said: ‘Let’s go. We’re late.’ Not ‘I’m late,’ but ‘We’re late.’ He should have apologized or explained himself. Most of all, he should have shown my mother respect!”
Of course, a single disappointing act or trait doesn’t necessarily doom a relationship. (Psalm 130:3) But when Sarah realized that John’s rudeness was a pattern rather than an isolated incident, she decided to end the relationship.
What if, like Jill and Sarah, you determine that the person you’re dating wouldn’t make a suitable marriage partner? In that case, do not ignore your feelings! Hard as it is to accept, it might be best to end the relationship. Proverbs 22:3 says: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself.”
True, breaking up may not be easy. But marriage is a permanent bond. It’s better to live with short-term pain now than suffer with lifelong regret later!